


Forbidden Paths

by KagekaNecavi



Series: Crossed Paths [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Death, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e09 Miller's Crossing, M/M, Pre-Slash, Wraith Feeding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:41:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagekaNecavi/pseuds/KagekaNecavi
Summary: Rodney knew John better than anyone. Thanks to chess and video games that weren’t really video games, he knew the way John strategized better than anybody, too. If he was gonna do this, now that John had said no, he needed to do it fast.-Despite being in a series with Shortest Distance Between Two Points, these two fics can be read in any order - they are not sequential and are actually two separate, alternate endings to the same episode. Given the similarities though and the fact that they were both inspired by the same tumblr post, I thought they should go in a series together.





	Forbidden Paths

**Author's Note:**

> The warnings to this fic are purposefully ambiguous. Please see the end note if you need to know who dies, and for all other squick/trigger warnings. Despite being in a series with Shortest Distance Between Two Points, these two fics can be read in any order - they are not sequential and are actually two separate, alternate endings to the same episode. Given the similarities though and the fact that they were both inspired by the ,a href="http://kagekanecavi.tumblr.com/post/164610394479/buffycuddlespigs-kagekanecavi">same tumblr post, I thought they should go in a series together.

 

John doesn’t realize anything’s wrong until they get to the door of the lab where Todd is supposed to be working and the guard is missing. John runs, leaving Wallace sputtering protests behind him and the marines confused until they see what he saw. Once he manages to get it out of his pocket, he swipes his card at the reader on the door and it beeps negatively at him. He swears, a ball of lead building in his stomach. Why the _fuck_  didn’t he put Rodney under guard immediately?!

As he’s shouting orders, demanding someone get him into that goddamned room fucking _yesterday_ , he knows why he didn’t put Rodney under guard right away. He expected Rodney to try this, but he expected Rodney to say goodbye to Jeannie first. There’s a guard waiting for Rodney there, just outside the infirmary to give him privacy. But Rodney had to go and out maneuver him, had to strategize well for once in his fucking life. Couldn’t do it when he was playing chess, no, he had to do it when he was basically committing fucking suicide.

Finally they get the door open. Todd is standing at the computer, looking disgustingly healthy. There’s a Zat on the table and the guards are all slumped against the wall. And in the middle of the floor - God -

John ducks out of the room and throws up, choking on a sob.

He's leaning against the wall, wiping his mouth and getting himself under control again when he hears a marine yell for him.

“Colonel Sheppard, sir! Dr. McKay is still alive!” The marine shouts, sounding puzzled. John moves faster than he's ever moved in his life, back in the room in a heartbeat and leaning down over the gaunt, corpse-like body and pressing his suddenly trembling fingers to Rodney’s throat. For a moment he can't feel anything - probably wouldn't be able to feel Teyla wack him with her bantos sticks if she were to do so right then and there - and he takes a deep breath to center himself, focuses, and … holy fuck. Rodney’s  _alive_.

He looks down at Rodney, eyes tracing over the gaunt face, the bloodied chest, and finds himself resting a hand on Rodney’s face. John's not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. But if Todd had wanted to kill Rodney right off, be would have. It probably would have been far easier than sparing Rodney. This was intentional.

“Okay, get the medics in here and have them take Rodney to the infirmary,” he says after a long moment, looking up at the marines. They nod, and speak into their radios.

Wallace, who John had forgotten was with them until this point, nods at Rodney and asks, eyes wide, “That's what that … thing does to the people it feeds on?”

“Yeah. But normally they kill the person. I'm not sure why he left Rodney alive,” John admits, standing to turn his attention on Todd.

“Because, Sheppard,” good God, does John ever hate how Todd says his name sometimes, “as loathe as I am to admit it, Dr. McKay is one of the few beings in Pegasus who is intelligent enough to almost keep up with me on the replicator coding. I am not eager to lose an asset like that in the war against the replicators.”

Even as John voices his protest, he sees a glimmer of hope. He just wants to make Todd **say it**. “Well he's sure as hell not gonna be much use to you at about 160 years old and senile!”

“Of course not. But you of all people should know that I can fix that,” Todd chuckles that dark little laugh of his, the one that sends shivers down John's spine. John's pretty sure that's why Todd laughs even half as much as he does.

“Fix it? What does he mean, fix it?” Wallace asks, looking at John. Wallace had already volunteered to be Wraith chow when it was just Jeannie’s life on the line. With both Rodney and Jeannie … John figures even after seeing how emaciated a nearly complete feeding made Rodney, Wallace will still go for it.

“I told you that Wraith feed on life force. Well, they can also give life force back if they have enough in their system. So if he drains someone enough to kill them, he'd have enough to give back what he took from Rodney,” John explains.

“Oh,” Wallace says.

“I have completed the reprogramming,” Todd interrupts them.

“That was quick. Get it uploaded,” John says. He does remember Rodney saying they were close, that the problem was less Rodney’s knowledge and more how quickly he could implement it.

Todd nods and turns to the computer again, tapping away.

“I want you to feed on me, to give Dr. McKay back his life,” Wallace says, spine straightening out and looking, honestly, more determined than John has seen the man look. Considering he hasn’t exactly known the man at his best, this isn’t surprising.

“Not now,” Todd doesn’t even look up from the computers.

“Yes now!” John snaps, suddenly terrified that Rodney will die before they have the chance to save him.

“No. When we discussed this, Dr. McKay made me give him my word that I would finish coding and uploading the new code before anything else. He said that his sister came first,” then Todd looks up, right at John.

There is … something in that gaze that unsettles John more than usual. “What else did he ask for?”

“Only one other thing. He did not even ask for my word that I would allow him to survive. He simply asked that if you, Sheppard, offered yourself for him that I would not feed from you,” with that, Todd goes back to the computer, ignoring the humans in the room.

One of the marines unconscious against the wall groans a little and starts to stir. Without prompting one of the ones that John had brought with him goes over to check on the ones that, based on the evidence, Rodney had stunned with the Zat on the table. Even though there’s only four of them - and one of those four is the marine meant to guard the door on the outside - John has no idea how Rodney got the drop on all of them.

There’s clearly nothing for John to do here. Even if he were able to concentrate enough to be useful.

“I’m gonna go to the infirmary and check on Rodney. Wallace, you can stay here or come with me or … whatever. I don’t care,” John says. He points at two marines, “Just make sure that you have a couple of guards with you if you leave here without me. Those two.”

“That’s fine. But I think I’m going to stay here and wait for … him? … to be done.” Wallace sits on a stool, looking grim and determined. It’s the look of a man who has accepted his fate and is simply waiting for it to be done and over with.

Completely out of the blue John is so overwhelmed with gratitude that it almost feels like a physical blow. He blinks the blurriness out of his vision and then claps a hand on Wallace’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he says very quietly. Wallace gives the barest hint of a nod, and then John is gone, heading straight for the infirmary.

When he gets there, there is an air of just settled chaos. He’s been in enough infirmaries to recognize things just starting to settle down. There’s a nurse over by Rodney, and he asks her what’s going on.

“We had to stabilize Dr. McKay when we got him here. If something isn’t done soon, he’s not going to last very long,” the nurse says. Despite the military setting, despite John being Rodney’s team leader, John’s not sure if she’s actually allowed to give John that much information. After all, it’s not like Rodney got hurt in the field under John’s watch. But then he remembers Rodney crabbing about all the paperwork they had the first time they came back to Earth. One of them was a medical proxy form, and after a bit of deliberation Rodney had put down John’s name. John had put Rodney’s name down, too. John’s still says Rodney, though John is pretty sure that now that Rodney and Jeannie are talking to each other, her name is first. But John knows he’s still on there somewhere, for emergencies. He doesn’t know much about that stuff, but as far as he can figure that means they can tell him everything they would tell Rodney himself. And that now, while Rodney and Jeannie are both unconscious, he is the one who will make Rodney’s medical decisions, if any necessary decisions arise.

It’s an unexpectedly heavy burden.

After a moment he realizes he sort of zoned out and the nurse is waiting for a response. He nods his head. “Thanks. I wanna sit with him a while - can I?”

“Of course, Colonel Sheppard. Just don’t jostle any wires or tubes and press the call button if you need us or if something happens. I’m sure you know the drill,” she gives John a warm smile and then leaves, drawing the privacy curtain around Rodney and John, who is still just standing at the end of the bed. Through the gap in the curtain he can see the bed Jeannie is lying in, breathing easily in her medically induced coma, some strange machines around her apparently designed to keep track of the nanites.

He wonders if he would go this far for anyone in his family. He hasn’t seen his brother or father in years, but he thinks he still would. After all, he left because Dad wanted it that way. Or … well, he’s pretty sure Dad wanted it that way. And Dave just sided with Dad, like always. But John never, ever stopped loving them. Just sort of wondered if they stopped loving him. After all of this is over, John thinks, maybe he needs to check up on Dad and Dave. Take Rodney with him so he has someone to not-talk to if it goes wrong - they can claim Rodney needs the time off to recover from getting drained like this and that John is making sure Rodney is actually resting.

Finally, after standing there and pretty much staring off into space for longer than he would care to admit, John actually looks at Rodney. It makes him want to go find a trash can and puke again, and the only thing that stops him is the steady beat of the heart monitor, the fact that when he reaches down and presses his fingers to Rodney’s cool skin - that’s so _wrong_ , Rodney always runs hot, sometimes so hot that when they share a tent on overnight off world missions they don’t even need a blanket because Rodney also has a habit of rolling over until he’s pressed against the nearest surface, which often happens to be John himself - he can feel Rodney’s pulse. Weak, but there. He finds a chair and pulls it over and sits, then he wraps his hand around Rodney’s wrist again, counting the beats without realizing it.

“I should have done something to make sure you couldn’t do that. Taken your ID away from you right away, had a guard follow you. I should have done  _something_!” John says quietly. He doesn’t think his voice is going to carry far, but this needs to be said. He needs to get it off his chest. “You have to hold on, Rodney. Just a few more minutes. Todd is gonna come back and give it all back and you’re gonna be **fine**  and then we’re gonna have a nice long talk about doing stupid things. You’re officially not allowed to complain the next two or three times I do something you think is reckless or stupid.”

With one hand still feeling Rodney’s pulse, he holds Rodney’s hand with his free hand and squeezes gently. “God, Rodney, I came in and thought you were dead. I don’t think I’ve ever -” he breaks off, shaking his head and unable to continue. The tears are back, and he blinks several times to try to make them go away. When he can see clearly again, he’s being watched by tired blue eyes.

“Ever what?” Rodney asks, voice weak and shaky.

John squeezes his hand again, and Rodney squeezes back weakly. There’s a moment where John isn’t actually sure if he’s going to answer. But he hadn’t actually expected Rodney to wake up at all before Todd came in - he figured either Rodney would die or he would wake up young and healthy again. So the choice is simple. “I … I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life, buddy.” John says, loud enough for Rodney to hear it, but no louder.

“Because you thought I was dead?” Rodney asks, and John wonders if he really does have dementia or something. It seems to be taking a while for him to put two and two together.

“Yeah, Rodney,” John says gently, “is that so hard for you to understand?”

“Yes - no - I -" Rodney breaks off and his eyes trail down to where he and John have their hands clasped. “Not hard to understand. Hard to believe.”

Before John can respond he hears a commotion in the rest of the infirmary. He frowns and pulls back, giving Rodney’s hand a squeeze right before he lets go. It's difficult to leave Rodney there, even just to pull the privacy curtain back a little and figure out what's going on.

On the other side there's about a half a dozen marines, a gurney with a body bag on it, several rattled looking nurses and doctors, and Todd.

“Colonel,” one of the marines - someone John knows is assigned to Stargate Command, rather than a gate team, one of the ships, or Atlantis, but who John doesn’t know much about otherwise - says, saluting John, “You'll see in the report that Mr. Wallace wanted to take a look at the lab and the coding that Dr. McKay was working on. The Wraith got the upper hand. If you would like to report any of us to our on base superiors for discipline for not protecting a civilian, we understand.”

John isn't sure what to say for a moment. He had expected to be taking the blame for Wallace himself, and to have the marines taking it is more than a little unexpected. “No. I'm sure you did all you could,” he says, and the marine gives him a tight nod.

Todd is already unrestrained and makes his way over to Rodney’s bedside. “This will hurt,” he says. John can't help but think he sounds vaguely pleased by the idea he's going to be causing pain and has to fight the instinct to pull Todd away from Rodney.

“Get it over with,” Rodney braces himself, eyes moving from Todd to John and staying on John. Todd nods and presses his hand on Rodney’s chest. It takes everything John has not to pull Todd away as Rodney yells - so weak sounding, voice wavering with the pain - and his back arches. But Rodney is keeping his eyes on John, and so John puts up the strongest front he can. He needs to be strong to help Rodney deal with this.

The process is fast, faster than John remembers it being, and soon Todd is pulling back and Rodney is young and healthy and whole again. John can't stop grinning. “Hey, buddy. This is a much better look on you than the wrinkles and white hair.”

“You're hilarious,” Rodney responds, but he's got a grin on his face, too. John glances over Rodney’s face and torso a moment. He'd thought before that Rodney saying that John had looked younger after their first encounter with Todd had just been Rodney being Rodney - complaining as a way to let off steam. But maybe he actually had. Rodney looks a little younger. Not much younger, but maybe just slightly younger than he'd been when they met. He's a little slimmer, has a little more hair on top. Differences subtle enough that John isn't sure he would have noticed except that he looked over 100 ten minutes ago and looked his regular age a few hours ago. It's a good look for him, but John is looking forward to watching Rodney age the natural way again, and to aging along side him.

“You finished the coding and got it uploaded?” Rodney asks, turning to Todd.

“Yes. And waited for the first results - it appears to be working as anticipated. You should wait until all of the nanites are inert before awakening her, however,” Todd nods.

“Thank you. When we get back to Atlantis I'll make sure we incorporate this into our replicator work. And I'll talk to Sam about getting you more computer access to work on it, too,” Rodney says, “We had a deal, after all.”

“Yes,” Todd agrees, “You and Sheppard are surprising when it comes to the deals you will keep.”

“I'm not sure if I should be offended by that,” John says, but his protest is all bark and no bite. Rodney is okay and that's all that matters right now.

“I wanna go sit with Jeannie - how about you take him back through the Stargate?” Rodney first addresses John, then Todd, “When Jeannie wakes up and I get her settled back at home I'll come back through and we'll get you set up with everything I promised.”

“No, first you see a doctor,” John glances around and waves one over, "I know how that process makes you feel, but I wanna make sure you're fine before you do anything. Once they clear you, you do whatever you want.”

He knows that sounds vaguely apathetic - like he doesn’t care what Rodney does after this - but he doesn't plan on being gone long enough for Rodney to do much except sit by Jeannie’s side. But Rodney either doesn't notice or has him figured out or is too restless and eager to get to Jeannie's bedside, because he just nods and impatiently lets the doctor look him over.

John and the marines from Atlantis restrain Todd again and they get him to the gate room, dialing up home. John sends the marines down to the gate and waits in the command room next to the computers. Once they connect one of the screens displays a live feed from Atlantis, Colonel Carter there with the gate room staff. She smiles a little when she sees John.

“Colonel Sheppard. I take it everything went well?” She asks. She's gotten pretty good at reading him, but not quite good enough.

“Well enough. I'm gonna start off by saying he's okay now, but after the Wraith collapsed from hunger McKay did a damned stupid thing and stunned the Wraith’s guards and made a deal with it, then let it feed on him,” John explains.

Carter's breath catches. For all the intellectual rivalry that she and Rodney have going - and for all that Rodney can sometimes be a total idiot around and to her - John knows that Carter and Rodney really respect each other. “You said he's okay?”

“Yeah. The man who kidnapped Jeannie and McKay got himself fed on and the Wraith gave McKay’s life force back. But with your permission I'd like to stay with him. I know there's a slim chance of anyone still being after him, but I don't want to take any risks. I also want to make sure he doesn't overdo it so soon after all of that,” John requests, satisfied that it sounds professional enough.

“What does he have left to do there?” Carter has a somewhat thoughtful, almost calculating expression on her face, and John isn't happy about that. Is he that easy to see through?

“Mostly just waiting for Jeannie to wake up and taking her home,” John shrugs, “shouldn't take too long.”

“Actually I was thinking that if you're really that worried about his health after all this, maybe the two of you should take some time off. Neither of you have taken any vacation time except mandatory rest days since well before I've been in charge and those don't really count, since half the time you end up caught up in an emergency of some kind or another anyway. You deserve it,” Carter gives him a little smile, “we can always push back any meetings we need the two of you for and if we really need anything from you we know where to find you.”

That's a surprising offer, but John's not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. He agrees immediately and they work out a quick plan, with a tentative return date on the Daedalus. Rodney might fuss about not being able to go back to work right off, but John thinks he can convince him that a vacation is a good idea.

After everything is squared away John heads back to the infirmary. Just as John figured he would be, Rodney is sitting next to Jeannie, who is still in the medical coma. Rodney startles a little when John pulls up a chair and sits next to him. “I thought you left.”

“Nah. Just sent Todd and his escort back through. Ronon is going back as soon as all the paperwork and stuff for this mission is done, but I'm staying behind with you and we're heading back with the Daedalus in a few weeks. That way you have time to visit with Jeanie a little,” John says. He nudges Rodney’s shoulder affectionately with his own.

“What, are you my bodyguard for the next couple of weeks?” Rodney frowns and seems unsure what to make of that idea.

“Well I do wanna help keep you out of trouble, but I wanted to be along for more than that,” he'll elaborate if Rodney needs him to but John doesn't want to have to spell it out for him. Fortunately Rodney seems to get the idea and nods.

“Thank you.”

They sit in silence a long time and then John asks, “When you were asking Todd to feed on you, did you ask him to leave you alive?”

Rodney’s focus had been on his sister and he all but jumps out of his seat at the question, whipping his eyes to John. “I … what kind of question is that?”

“I just can't imagine him agreeing to leave you alive if you'd asked. But here you are. What happened?” Despite Todd having said that he spared Rodney because of Rodney’s knowledge of replicator code, John thinks there had to be more to it.

“I guess I seemed nervous when I got in there because he asked if you knew I was there. When I told him you'd forbidden me from doing it, he laughed at me and said that if he killed me after you told me I couldn't let him feed on me, you'd kill him. But that he had another idea,” Rodney smiles slightly. John can definitely see that happening. Todd is nothing if not self centered and the idea of immediate death at John's hands would definitely make him back off.

“I'm glad you're okay. But later, when we're alone, we are having a very long talk about this.” John doesn't have the energy to yell at Rodney for nearly killing himself via Wraith feeding, not right now. Nor does he want to yell at him before they know if Jeannie is okay.

Rodney watches him a moment and then nods. “I'm guessing we're going to table the discussion from earlier, too?” It takes John a moment to remember which discussion they didn't finish. The one about _them_. Oh. John can't think of anything to say so he just nods. Rodney smiles at him and, after a moment's hesitation, reaches out to take John's hand once. He squeezes tight and then lets go, but it's enough for now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Rodney is drained almost to death by Todd. When John sees him he thinks Rodney IS dead and pukes. Henry Wallace is killed by Todd, as per the episode’s canon, and Rodney has his life given back.
> 
> Mention/discussion of suicide.
> 
> As far as non triggery but just spoilery things:  
> Sorry if Todd seems a bit off - his characterization in the show seems to be “what's going to benefit me most at any given time" when he's actually written well, so I had a bit of a hard time with him.
> 
> There’s a bit near the middle where John wonders why a nurse gave him what is probably private information about Rodney’s health - I have worked in the healthcare industry in the United States, for a mail order pharmacy and for an insurance company, and when you work somewhere like that you get tests literally yearly about confidentiality and security and HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) - the reason why EVERY YEAR you have to sign a paper at the doctor saying who your emergency contacts are, who can get information, who can know blood test results, et cetera. So it bugs me when they just tell anybody anything in tv shows. (Like, seriously, when I was first being trained at the insurance company I think they said that the company AND the employee who violates HIPAA get fined, the company in the hundreds of thousands of dollars and the employee in the tens of thousands of dollars.) Atlantis being Atlantis, I figure the medical staff always knows who is okay with who knowing what. At the SGC, though, they’d want paperwork on file. Hence the random aside about paperwork.
> 
> Also - I'm considering continuing this one. I am not gonna be like "if I get enough response" or w/e because I as much as I love feedback - as much as any other fic author - I suffer pretty severely from depression and anxiety. Outside influences help, but when I'm in a depressive episode like I am now it's sort of a crapshoot. We'll have to see how long this creative kick holds out. I want to write more for this fandom, and here would be a good place to start, but we'll see.


End file.
